Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
"Contains mild violence, scary scenes and some dangerous behaviour"
sums up how I feel about the content in it exactly. I first saw the movie when 5, and Sid scared the crap outta me.
Harry Brown, a British film with Michael Caine and Emily Mortimer, however, is a little more adult: -
"Contains very strong language, strong violence, hard drug use and sex"
Michael Caine bunging and saying the c-word? It's more than I can cope with, frankly.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Watch this, like: -
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
1. Family Plot, correctly guessed by William
2. Mean Girls, correctly guessed by Anahit
3. The Aviator, correctly guessed by Joe
4. Cinema Paradiso, correctly guessed by Anahit
5. North by Northwest, correct guessed by Anahit and William
6. Marie Antoinette, correct guessed by Anahit and William
7. anyone care to guess?
Empire film magazine have opened voting for their 100 sexiest film stars, and I am telling you to go over there to make the votes this year somewhat respectable. Because, I tell ya, if I see those goons Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe anywhere near the top 25 this year, I will not be happy.
Here were my picks, if anyone cares: -
Tell me yours!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
02. What is your favourite bird?
03. Will you be putting up the Christmas lights this year?
04. What colour do you wear the most of?
05. Tell me two truths and a lie.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Carla, a 36-year-old with a tie for Louis. The audience love it, and Louis looks extremely flattered and thanks Carla with a kiss. Carla says she would like to "be as big as Madonna", and her choice of song is If You Don't Know Me by Now. Like all the acts we've seen so far this episode, she isn't good - lacking personality, stage persona and just well, tune. The audience are far too easily impressed as they sway along to her lacklustre "singing", but Cheryl just looks extremely uncomfortable. Simon asks her how she thought it went, to which she answers simply "the audience liked it." Well, no offence, but this audience couldn't tell good music if they were trapped in an orchestra.
Weighty piano music time as our next audition has apparently been preparing for this for a whole year. The person, Rikki, made it to the boot camp last year, but got a no. He's got a strong voice, and the audience lap it up after he's delivered his first line. I don't personally think he's all that amazing (the audience cheer like no tomorrow and Cheryl has tears in his eyes, which I don't exactly understand), but yes, definitely the best of the lot so far. Which isn't saying that much, but still. Queue a cheesy Snow Patrol-in-background as Rikki does the emotional bit.
London next, and our first auditionee William Hooper is at a ripe young age of 82. "This is my last chance", he grins cheekily. Simon Cowell inadvertently suggests he's going to die in seven years, haha. He sings Come Fly With Me pretty much how I'd expected him to: badly, and with an undeserved swagger. Louis and Danni both think he has the X-Factor and Cheryl even blows him a kiss, but Simon is the only one who sees sense, admitting "I wasn't crazy about your singing voice." "He's 82!" Louis shouts, as if being a fogey compensates for shit vocals. As ever, Louis, Danni and Cheryl give a crappy act yeses and puts another piece of shit through. "I might be 82, but there's still a lot of life in me," William says happily.
Thankfully, the next audition - Lydia, genuinely does have talent, and she rightfully goes through. 17-year-old lad Alistair sings The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson. His audition is too short for me to fairly judge his talent, but he is cute so I'm glad he went through. Another auditionee, Heshima has the injured poet thing going on, he also goes through. All this was shown to a cheesy montage to Don't Stop Me Now, by the way.
Next, it's 18-year-old Shanna Goodhead. Lo and behold, he lives in a council estate in East London with her mum and her four sisters. She needs to win X-Factor to feed her family. I can just hear the violins. However, her rendition of Songbird by Eva Cassidy just about redeems this - she has a lovely voice, and from her face you can tell she's really feeling the song too, which makes her performance even better. Louis, Danni and Cheryl ADORE her, and Simon in his own quiet way does too - but he comments on her lack of self-belief.
Som of the others were:
Amordeep - tried to sing I Love Rock n Roll. SHIT.
David Francis - square. Hot and Cold. Rubbish.
Michael - attitude problem. tranny. shit.
Then we had a girl who looked a bit like Theo Walcott's girlfriend, but uglier, Demi. She tells the panel that she turned 17 last week and has a grin perpetually painted on her sound face. She is SO out of tune. Tries to play the cute card but she just pisses me off, and it's all very cringey. She knows she's cute, and wants to know that she's good enough. Louis being honest for once, tells her that she isn't, and tears fill her eyes as laughter fills mine. Ironically, Happy Ending from Mika plays. lulz. She gets a hug from Cheryl, jammy bitch.
There's a few mediocre ones before the last act, Olly, who sings Superstitious. s'OK, but he clearly does it for Simon, who seems to get somewhat of a guycrush on him.
Mediocre episode, truth be told.
Derren Brown stretched out the hour first by tormenting a woman with a fear of mice by putting her hand in three out of four boxes, when he told her one of them contained a mouse. It was so clearly staged. Next, we watched a clip of a man who was told to stamp on fourteen out of twenty polysterene cups, one of which had a knife underneath. Miraculously, he went on to stamp on nineteen cups, avoiding the knife (which was really a mouse). Both events had clearly been staged, with the "random participants" selected actors.
Derren Brown then carried on this vein of "thought", claiming that the synergetic power of people's willpower could actually make things happen. He demonstrated this with a toin toss competition, wherein a man who had to flip HHH lost to a woman who had to toss THH due to more people "supporting" her. Um, no. This is a simple Mathematical trick, actually, nothing to do with "willpower."
But yeah. His explanation for predicting the six winning lottery numbers was, apparently, that 24 people had guessed the numbers, and then he had taken averages. Batshite. How dumb does he think we are?
I know how he did it - either with remote controlled balls which changed the numbers, or, the split screen - wherein a crew member ran on with the right numbers straight after the lottery number was called. It was technology that explains this simple conjuring trick, not pseudo-science. Twat.
More positive things:
♥ Cringetastic Sex and the City II movie fashions
♥ Dev Patel and Freida Pinto still looking wonderfully happy together.
♥ google, oldschool
♥ Girls Aloud being stunning
Friday, September 11, 2009
Today marked the relase of Andrea Arnold's Fish Tank, which is being hailed as British film of the year by many critics. It tells the story of a 15-year-old Essex girl who, excluded from school and frequently using the c-word, is at a bit of a dead end in her life. Her blugeoning sexual awakening is piqued by the arrival of her mother's dishy new man, played by, you've guessed it, the *very* lickable Michael Fassbender (amazing in Eden Lake, Hunger and Inglourious Basterds), and guess what? They bung. This sort-of-Lolita-in-Essex sounds both ridiculously wrong and at the same time, morbidly interesting, and I do hope to see it asap, to admire the kitchen sink drama, Andrea Arnold's direction and
Not convinced about his bungability? How about now?
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
05. You belong with me
The video to this song is one of the cutest things in years and highlights Swift's charm, but the lyrics that touch upon this other girl, too, ring all too true - "she wears short skirts, I wear sneakers, she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers." Boys, so dumb.
An anecdotal song about having your heart broken when fifteen, this is an interesting counterpart to Rilo Kiley's considerably less innocent song of the same title. I can totally connect with the beautiful, heart-wrenching lyrics of this song.
I love the sweetness and hope of this song and how it conveys the feeling of how nothing is impossible and fearlessness when you think you're in love.
02. Hey Stephen
The cutest of all the songs on the album and possibly one of the loveliest songs of all time, there are soo many "aww" moments I got from listening to this.
Captures the fallout after a break-up perfectly. There's real pain in Swift's voice and the lyrics show her to be wise beyond her years. LOVE this.
Anna Friel is charming enough in this TV adaptation of Marian Keyes' chicklit novel, but despite her best efforts and convincing Irish accent, she can't prevent this from being terribly boring and predictable. It was quite annoying too. Not recommended.
^ lol, worst review evar.
Final Exam by Pauline Chen also failed to make me feel anything other than dire boredome. A doctor reflects on her journey through time and how she has come to terms with death. I came to terms with the fact that this dull and dreary book belonged in the bin.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Next, we go to Cardiff in Wales, where X-Factor fever has clearly run this town. We see fish stalls with "Cowell's Cods" and vegetable markets selling "Louis' Leeks", which are so deliciously naff and kitsch. Our first audition is a three man group, two girls and a boy from Sixth Form, who call themselves 2 Gorgeous 4 Words. Hmmm, I sort of beg to differ. They attempt to cover "Let's Hear it for the Boy", and are SO out of tune. Simon gives them their marching orders and the more outspoken member of the threesome spits "We think we're excellent so it doesn't matter what they think." Um, ok then. *pats head*
Next, a girl called Ashanti sings "I'm Going Down" by Mary J. Blige. Whilst she's good, Simon comments (rightly) on her lack of stage presence, which is met with boos. As ever, Cheryl, Danni and Louis are in agreement that they love her. Even Simon gives a begrudging yes. "You're always grumpy in Wales", Louis remarks. We then have Daniel Williams singing "Let it Be" by The Beatles, which is quite good for a 19-year-old. High School Musical music snakes into the background. We're then treated to a sob story/cheesy quote moment to the music of "I'm not a Girl, Not yet a Woman" whilst various people talk about how winning X-Factor would change their lives. Well, duh!
Now it's the turn of a pretty girl from a Welsh village in a nice dress but fugly gladiator sandals. She's called Lucie, and looks slightly older than her age, which we're told is 18. She sings "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston, which Simon questions the choice of. I would never dare attempt because it is just such a massive gamble; sounds amazing if you get it right, but will easily sound awful if you get it wrong. She gets it right - although she hits the high note with tentativeness, she still gets it right. Straight after the performance is over, we get the usual X-Factor cheesy music stint. Cheryl gets it spot on when she says she "loved the vulnerability" of the performance, and that, despite Lucie being a sure talent, the girl wasn't aware of her own amazing skill. And Simon gives the highest accolade so far, "I really, really like you." These words are like gold from him.
We then get a wee bit of a pisstaker who does three songs, all made-up, "Beef and Onion Crisps", "The Lonely Lama" and "Shepperd's Pie 'til I Die." I am serious, he actually sings these songs. Simon gets completely exasperated. Another welsh lad, Gareth, sings, or shall I say, bastardizes, "Angels" by Robbie Williams. Bung.
Lloyd, a chirpy-looking schoolboy then begins his rendition of "I'm Yours", and although he has an OK voice, we just know from the off that this is not the song for him. Cheryl stops the audition and everyone boos. Louis asks for another song, and, like Shaheen on his audition for Britain's Got Talent this year, he excels a secod time round. By the by, this lad is 16, and he has a tattoo on his wrist! Is that legal?
X-Factor hits staged heights when Kirsty and Jack, a duo who used to date but, we are told have now broken up, bung on. He's wearing a Liverpool T-shirt. Not a Liverpool strip, more a T-shirt with the Liverbird on it. Aaaanyway, they're called Combined Effort and tell the panel that they used to be engaged, but he broke the engagement off because they were just pissing each other off too much. "Are you comfortable with performing together?" is the question they're asked, to which he gives a sweet but rather cliche reply of "I'd rather have a friend than not at all", which unsurprisingly evokes a massive aww from the audience. After all that backstory, the singing, when it comes, is atrocious. He even stops in the middle of it because he's so bad. Cheryl's acting as if it's the cutest thing ever. "Nothing's gonna stop us now", they screech, as Simon stops them. The panel give their thoughts - which is that the singing wasn't very good, but this takes a backseat to their thoughts on the couple's relationship, which is that it could still work. And surprise surprise, the two walk away, in love again. Bless... NOT. You can check out the staged cheesiness here:
The X-Factor panel have just touched down in London town, and 17 year old girl studying for her A-levels. She sings "And I'm Telling You" by Beyonce, which is the song in which Beyonce actually got to show her amazing pipes. "Is she good?" Dermot asks her mates, watching off-stage, and she is, according to them. In fact, she is rather good. After that, we get the worst Mariah Carey singing ever - and he gets two gos at it, sadly. Simon lays into him and again, gets booed for it.
So, what did I learn from yesterday's episode of X-Factor? Well, that they stage things, that some people audition for the lulz and that Cheryl is pretty. So really, I didn't learn anything new at all. But, it was very entertaining/embarrassing, and I needed to chillax a bit after biting my nails off all the way through the Republic of Ireland football match, so it's all good!
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
The use of the T-shirt here, with him looking down on it, I think captures the feel of the film terrifically, as I hear the film is a very "bitty" look at various episodes in the two's relationship.
Hehehe. Just genius.
I want to see both films now. Have any of you guys seen either film? Thoughts?
The Secret of Chimneys tells of Herzoslovakian princes, political memoirs, foreign diplomats, missing diamonds and, of course, murder. It is also one of the most boring novels ever written. Do yourself a favour and don’t go anywhere near it. I am terribly, terribly disappointed by Miss Christie. There’s one colossal twist at the end which was cleverly constructed but by then, I was too bored to care. Not recommended in the slightest.
- I might get this
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Rebecca de Winter was a glamorous and generally adored socialite. It has been a year since her passing away, and her husband (Laurence Olivier), grief stricken, goes away to Monte Carlo. Here, he meets naïve young secretary (played by Joan Fontaine, but interestingly, her character never has a name). She is everything Rebecca wasn’t: guileless, sweet, a little on the mundane side. All these attributes greatly endear her to Mr. de winter, and they fall in love and get married. However, on returning to his home in Cornwall, the Manderlay estate, the second Mrs. De Winter finds that all the servants are somewhat frosty towards her, in particular Mrs. Danvers (Judith Anderson), Rebecca’s loyal housekeeper, who is still living in the memory of her past mistress.
The performances in this film are perfect. Judith Anderson, as the cruel and sadistic devotee who is possibly lesly b ann towards the deceased Rebecca (she prizes one of Rebecca’s négligées), gives one of the best supporting actress performances in history. Her obsession with Rebecca is perverse and creepy, and reaches levels of sinister undertones that cinema had not achieved before. George Sanders, as Rebecca’s cousin and lover, oozes greasiness. Laurence Olivier has the distant aloofness of Max down to a t, who delivers such melancholy lines such as “Happiness is something I know very little about” with perfect finesse and what’s more, is completely gorgeous to boot. He depicts his character’s confusion very well – he loves his wife, but often gets short with her, and even loses his temper at her in one scene – she, poor thing, in trying to impress him and live up to Rebecca, follows Mrs. Danver’s purposely catastrophic advice and wears a dress that was worn by Rebecca.
But the film belongs to Joan Fontaine. Poor Joan Fontaine was put through hell during filming – Hitchcock encouraged other cast members to shun her in real life, leading to the actress becoming very twitchy, and this comes across in her portrayal as the insecure young woman, the epitome of frail beauty. Fontaine is one of my favourite actresses and has impressed in many, many roles (The Constant Nymph, Suspicion and Letter from an Unknown Woman to name a few), but this will remain my favourite performance of hers. She is the quintessential gothic heroine, a frightened, unsure character who was totally unaware of what she was getting herself into when she married the man she loved.
Rebecca was also a technical masterpiece of its day. The camerawork stunning, and the set, of austere, cold, Manderlay, makes the second Mrs. De Winter’s plight all the more believable. Producer David O. Selznick loved to get right into it, but Hitchcock’s director’s stamp is prominent throughout, from the suspense, the chilling atmosphere created, the music and the camera moves. The film has terrific performances, a great script and awesome technicals to become a true masterpiece.
The denouement is appropriately dramatic and, although dated, the film has lost none of its thrill. The psychological mind-play is still affecting, and we really feel for the second Mrs. De Winter. Although no blood is shed and there is no gore, Rebecca is far more frightening than any of the so called “horrors” that Hollywood churns out by the dozen these days. In the final shot, the “R” of Rebecca is framed, in all its glory. This woman may be gone, but she is far from being forgotten. The novel itself is extremely rich, atmospheric and gothic, but it is mainly Hitchcock’s mastery that brings all these words to our senses, so we can fully experience it.
(as a side note: I watched this film on a rainy April day with the bro. Was SO atmospheric, a perfect way to spend a rainy day – watching my second fave Hitchcock movie. Hint hint.)